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What’s love Got to do with it

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Today I write the ramblings of my thoughts feelings and emotions to rid my soul and body of the toxicity of the bipolar depression and the domestic violence that has plagued the household for at least five years now,which the fists have been still for a month as of the 6th of May which made yet another holiday or event miserable and uneventful except this year I healed my wounds as I celebrated mother’s day with him still as I’m writing nursing his I yes inflicted.His family jewels have taken the full impact of my protest to the domestic violence and unjustly being treated,enraged on purpose, goaded to react so the violent behavior can ensue. Once enraged the violence continues until I am believed to be subdued which often ends in my strangulation,this time me grabbing him and pulling his jewels until I was released and I then began hitting him in the legs as he laid in bed; with a club I wailed the few blows to get his attention. The instrument used was a cutting off one of the trees I was planning on using as an object in a craft not a weapon of defense. As I was swinging the few blows to remind him

I WILL NEVER EVER BE HIT AGAIN AND TO LEVEL THE PLAYING FIELD

As I am 5′ 120 lbs max which he is 6’7″ and 224 lbs more or less

This writing is in hopes one will and can learn from my experience not to justify why I stay or why I don’t go to the police as to protect the man and his reputation over the risk of my own life. I can’t honestly answer the questions I so often ask myself. Why do I love the man that houses such a monster of domestic violence, I don’t know but do I believe the last was the last because I’m now making it public whether he or anyone has anything negative to say I’m done,as the saying goes stick a fork in it I’m done.. I’M DONE !!!!
I have stood by and kept my mouth shut to those outside my home but today I’ve decided to make this public because I truly believe nothing will change unless it’s exposed and I am not only exposing this to you but as a reminder to myself I am worth more than this.. He’s a good man,a strong man but he’s a functioning alcoholic and now a man of violence and provoking violence or was once able to..

This day is the day of deliverance of the domestic violence and to all the goading to violence is loosed,bound and cast into the pits of hell from which it came and is now under the blood of Jesus. In Jesus mighty name Amen.

I can no longer live a lie and remain sane,it’s impossible to be fake it’s not in me and that’s why I believe I’ve been hit hard in my health and wanted to end my life, though other issues are at fault there too which alot have to do with the violence that started to occur at the same time-line, they all go hand in hand. I who likes to tackle things head on and he  who sweeps everything under the rug where it has became giants that must be fought literally and now through Christ Jesus I little David am finished with the Goliath’s in my life.

To those who understand my ramblings and the writings within because you’ve lived through or are going through the storm in which I have just described, my prayers are with you and until you know your worth it will continue please seek help this is a very dangerous life for all involved because honestly most domestic violence situations are not as this is ending,it usually ends in a life taken either in the rage of violence by the attacker or by the strength of self defense by the victim. Which in all truth both are victim, victims of not living life in love,honor and respect of not only ones self but to the one a vow was made to love honor and protect yet it is the one who vowed who is the perpetrator of the violence and is not the protector of her he wed and announces great love for.
AND I ASK
….what’s love got to do with it ….
As one battered woman to another it is well said in this few words from Tina Turner.

4 Replies to “What’s love Got to do with it”

  1. I just didn’t understand on a post just after this one you encouraged me to count my blessings and the last thing I expected was for you to also come up against me,it through me off guard where the enemy had a field day with me over every word and ever other person has ever said negative against me,it left me void of words but not of wondering if I could measure up to anyone in this world so I withdrew to my room seeking comfort from God. Upon waking I felt stronger in the love of the Lord I tried writing a response but words would not come except the few I wrote at the moment when your response was first read. In my later response I really didn’t mean to be harsh or seem unkind though I wanted to convey please do not judge until I have had the chance to explain where I have and still could be emotionally and spiritually and their has been change in me that he will be arrested the next time it seems he wishes to abuse me any further and I honestly believe him suffer still from my hand has opened his eyes to that fact even further. I have planned a great escape and felt compelled to fast and pray,in this is when I was told to be still and know He is God,to be honest I was heart broken in His response thinking daddy you’re having me stay! Knowing full well to be obedient for it will be as He planned,that’s the only reason I am here today. Harshness is not what I was trying to convey and do apologize for being so for hit for tat gets people nowhere nut at odds. I did pray for Father God to speak and show your heart what His intentions are in my staying. Thank you for writing back in a cooler period of our thoughts and emotions, I’m learning to walk away and not speak in anger having less to repent and apologize for. I too feel a great drawing to you with a great love,adoration and bond in which I cannot explain only to say Father God brought us together also for a purpose for I feel I’ve know you all of my life and I’m looking forward to many more discussions,sister squabbling and encouraging each other in our walks through this life. I love you Pamela and hope we can allow this relationship to grow with leaps and bounds as the Lord has planned,for our meeting was certainly not by chance or coincidence as nothing is coincidental with our Father.

    1. Love you and I do appreciate your honesty and concern ❤ and I understand questioning because I am please believe that,I’m not as gullible as I seem and very cautious but to the point of tired of hiding the issue,i honestly believe exposure of the truth is best,no sweeping it under the rug and living the double life.

  2. 1 THESSALONIANS 5:11 Does the word not tell us to encourage one another in the Lord? Where is there anything in your response written to my post of how I feel,encouraging to me or any edification to the Lord. Are we not told that only the Lord has the authority of judgment, I apologize, I didn’t know you ma’am consider yourself the Lord of my life,you are most misinformed For I worship the lord of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob and to call me a hypocrite isn’t that a bit harsh ? I mean I believe God can change and situation or heal anything or anyone. I myself believe my Lord is more than able. You certainly don’t practice what you preach, for you are supposed to serve the same Lord of the same body of Christ yet you don’t believe he is able to turn situation around because that’s what I’m believing and for your information I prayed and fasted over my situation and was told to,”Be still and know I am the Lord” and do i know the voice of the Lord ? I listen to His voice and no other. My bipolar is from mother abandonment,a child brought into a marriage who was molested by that husband so until you know everything it’s best not to say anything but words of encouragement.

  3. Thank you for being a true honest and open friend,I needed to hear what you have said,it’s not the first time I’ve been told almost the exact words. Thank you for being obedient to His voice. Again thank you !

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