The broken me
My journey through my suicide and finding healing along the way
I took my pills and my shower,I put on my pjs and laid down in cheryl’s bed with her beside me rubbing my back; I could hear her crying but the frame of mind I was in was not of thinking, the sobs and sniffles slowly gave into sleep as I so wished to do,never waking but I did awaken I was awakened by EMT’s taken to the hospital where I was then taken to the mental hospital for a 72 hour elevation hold.
Panic and anxiety attacks are more frequent
The anxiety and panic attacks are coming as the phycalists and physiatrist said they would. Tho I wish they would go way.
The feeling of not belonging
I’m here in my body but yet not here,I’m as a ghost who inhabits the dwelling but not the body,I have no host so I wonder hopelessly belonging to no one or nothing.
Are these true feelings? Am I dwelling in my emotional past? Am I blowing everything out of proportion ? As I’ve often been told.
Therapy… and seeking help
Therapy was much WeLcOMed. I am shy by nature but I found myself enjoying therapy as the group openly shared techniques in coping skills with life in general. Talking certainly helps especially when someone is genuinely interested and listening.
Yoga was especially helpful in releasing stress which I believe yoga should be part of the start of the sessions to reduce stress as the patients move forward in their recovery.
Pet therapy was the ultimate in therapy’s offered which were many when it comes to patients receiving treatment.
The staff was amazing, the patients were treated with dignity and respect
There are a few staff members who caught my heart as did the patients who quickly became my friends which I intend on keeping in touch with them as much as possible.
It’s strange being here, once home but it now holds nothing emotional for me no attachment as if it doesn’t belong to me as I’ve been told, I adjust that’s all I feel I do is adjust to here and there.
One day someone will feel as I do.As if they don’t belong as if they don’t matter and I’ll shed a tear or two for them as I understand the inner battle that rages deep within them; but this I know, “God has the final say.”