Home Is My Haven Where Life Is For Enjoying And Is Worth Living Fully

We can’t judge a book by it’s cover

Today is one of those day’s my mind is working overtime with all of what I could & want to be doing but my body is saying,  “NO”  I’m worn out as if I’ve completed a 5k race for life. I didn’t do much of anything yesterday to cause me to be so worn out today. Go figure when I could be finishing the two aprons from the men’s dress shirts. I found the idea on pinterest & making them for my son & grandson.I did finish the aprons for Sasha & Daisy a week or so ago tho,which turned out AWESOME for my first sewing adventure since 1996 which the embroidery was beautiful on my school project but I took the blouse home getting my aunt to finish the bias,puff sleeves & belt,it was supposed to have a zipper but I couldn’t get it right so I sewed a seam there instead. Yes I took the grade which was a 96 & knowing I didn’t earn it yet it should have been a 100  but the teacher knowing of my aunt & the seamstress she was Mrs. Hopkins knew I didn’t finish the project & I could not complain about my grade or I would get a failing grade I’m sure.I never wore the blouse after it was finished giving it to someone at school not even bringing it home to remind me of my deception.Since I got the sewing  machine about a month ago I have found I enjoy sewing & rather wish I could be doing that or getting the signs painted in the potagere’s garden.I’m also really missing rock painting,but I’ll soon to be leaving on my trip & I dont want any half finished projects laying around.

I absolutely need to finish the aprons which are basically a little or no sew project & the signs are nothing strenuous if I could only decide what base color I want & a color to coordinate with the base paint on the stenciling.. EASY PEASY RIGHT? Only if your not being attacked by a chronic illness such as lupus. I will get them finished on another day because I’m wanting to gift all of my apron’s before leaving in July. 

Pictures will be posted of the four aprons when I present them to my family.The signs will get finished in time but I must make a decision of which colors will make the signs & garden pop,not taking away from either but a blended beauty as if they go together as a hand & glove. That’s the creative part of me not the perfectionist,tho I strive for perfection in my work whatever that may be.I feel if  I’m not going to giving 100% why do the job or project at all.My integrity & character shows in my work ethics.I most certainly cherish the talents Father God has blessed me with I desire to make whatever it may be as perfect as perfect can be.

I’m learning with this disease to make no plans,for my desire is there but my body changes from day to day & plans may change.I can go long periods of time without a flare then be in a flare for long periods of time causing me to force myself to do what needs to be done with rest in between each task often leaving tasks unfinished to do another day or I  do nothing at all like today. I’m used to being able to do anything I put my mind to & was very active,probably on the ADD side & this can be depressing if I allow myself to wallow in the pit a flare can put me in.I take the down time to rest,watch tv or to talk with Father God, which I do in everything I do anyways.

I’m blessed to have the loving understanding husband God has given me. When in my flares Donnie cares for me,the home,cooking or bringing home take out,doing laundry if needed & caring for the chickens,ducks & dogs never complaining after he’s worked all day. He’s my biggest fan encouraging me to slow down,not to over do myself which I often do or him saying how Awesome or wonderful the crafts are whether that’s painting rocks,decorating,sewing or putting this & that together making something else with it.

This disease did not show its ugly head until a couple of years ago though I had been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia before then but not knowing it’s quite common for one’s diagnosed with fibromyalgia to eventually show the signs of rheumatoid arthritis & lupus or vise versa.

The Three Amigo’s.

I knew nothing of fibromyalgia or lupus but I’ve shown signs of rheumatoid arthritis in my teens starting in my right hip.

I’m so blessed that Donnie truly understands that one can look healthy but they can be very unhealthy on the inside. I often feel as I have the flu with  fever,aches & pains (I’m always in pain),without the other usual symptoms of nausea & vomiting. I have brain fog with Donnie often times finishing my sentence for me. If I’m interrupted while talking I forget what I’m saying or I know what I want to say but can’t get the words out properly. Say for instance I want to say something about the boat on the pond,I say,”that thing on the pond that we row” causing Donnie to play the word guessing game.Then comes the stuttering which doesn’t happen too often Praise God but when it does I try making it funny by saying, ” tha that’s all folks” like porky pig used to in the cartons back in the day taking the pressure off of myself.

As long as my husband,children & my close friend actually more like a sister understands, not much more concerns me about other’s opinions of me. I’ve certainly learned not to judge someone by their appearance like one parking in the handicap space,getting out of the vehicle looking healthy as a horse. Now I saddly understand,tho I dont have the handicap tag on my vehicle & do not park in the space leaving it for someone worse than myself. If I got out doing errands on day’s like today I’d be honored if I could park in the handicap space. Anyone with a chronic autoimmune disease or chronic pain will certainly understand my days.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: