Home Is My Haven Where Life Is For Enjoying And Is Worth Living Fully

DIRTY little SECRETS

If the woven fabric it not stitched on the ends it will begin to unravel eventually becoming one single barren thread,as it was when the process of weaving began.

In the beginning of any relationship we often show our best self’s,carefully hiding our flaws and undesirable traits.

Somehow we choose to believe every negative word spoken into or over us.

As the relationship grows we begin to show our true self’s as we become more and more comfortable with each other,we often seeing things in our partners and they in us that we either chose to overlook or if your a woman you may think ” I can change him” or ” if he loves me he will change.” As I thought.

The truth is a person only makes changes when they make the CHOICE to do so. Then doing things differently to make the changes necessary to keep your relationship from Unraveling.

NO AMOUNT OF CRYING, BEGGING OR THREATENING WILL CAUSE SOMEONE TO CHANGE.

CHANGE IS A CHOICE.

The choice to stay and live with either the whorish behavior,the alcoholic,drug addict,or whatever the issue may be besides being the stealer of the covers or they snore.

Make sure you’re staying for the right reasons. These behaviors I mentioned do not go away on their own as if it’s a cold or the flu. These issues are serious and with them comes serious consequences to not only the addict but also to those who love them. When living with a sex addict the unfaithfulness can bring so many things as STDs and offspring, these being just a couple that come to mind but most often it leaves the faithful partner with low self esteem, low self worth,trust issues and with all of this comes the baggage of shame for staying with someone who not only cheated once but continually. The cheater continues with their dirty little secrets for they feel you’re going to stay because you have forgiven them over and over and over again.

They at times try to justify their cheating by saying their partner is nagging them,doesn’t understand them,doesn’t give them what they’re needing,whatever their excuse may be. It’s just that an excuse it’s them not taking the responsibility of their actions,not owning what they did wrong.

I was told,” no man would or could ever love me, I was not worthy of a good man’s love.” ” Hmm well a good man you’re not,” was the very thought that ran through my mind but somewhere along the way I lost my self esteem and self worth believing the lies that I was not worthy and I being completely undesirable.

The woven fabric of the marriage completely Unravelled after twenty six years.There was much more done in the marriage with his dirty little secrets until the truth was exposed after our separation and divorce.Those dirty little secrets caused great damage to myself and the children. It has taken years to find healing, it being only through Father God this healing came. I know I and one child found healing I’m not sure with the other because of the behavior exhibited, yet I know complete healing is coming

AS FOR ME AND MY HOUSE WE SHALL SERVE THE LORD

I am speaking,though they are not as if they were; speaking deliverance from drug addiction,alcohol abuse physical abuse,pornography,divorce,pedophilia anything that can be a family curse this very moment in time in the Mighty name of Jesus.

My ex was not only a man whore but also an addict so I lived with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde never knowing what hellish bipolar,paranoid schizophrenic behavior I may encounter from one moment to the other. Because of the unworthiness I carried from my past and from what I allowed this man to do to me. I have been completely healed of everything that has ever happened to me. I am certain of this

I AM FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE IN GOD’S IMAGE.

I have learned to love myself for one cannot truly love another without first loving yourself.

The Unraveling was a slow process at first then as time went on I the single barren thread was all that was left. The single thread REMEMBER is what starts the weaving process in making a garment, rug or whatever is being created.

The single thread has become the woman of God He has called her to be,yes I have flaws,yes I stumble and fall yet I get up and walk the narrow path the best I can with Father God’s still small voice calling me back when I stray.

He leaves the ninety-nine sheep to find (me) the single lost little lamb,often getting lost from making my own choices instead of listening to His directions.

FOR HIS SHEEP KNOW HIS VOICE, LISTENING TO NO OTHER.

Long before caller ID came along when I picked up the phone and said hello I knew who I was talking to by the familiar voice on the other end whether it be a parent, grandparent or friends; this is how we are to be with Father God.

In order to know His voice we must have a relationship with Him not a religion. One where we allow Him to speak in a still small voice into our spirit or through His word. His word is our map through life it tells from beginning to end what we are to do in every situation,giving us light unto our path lighting up the darkest of places and times if we will only be obedient, trusting Him in the weaving  process.

“FOR I KNOW THE PLANS I HAVE FOR YOU,” DECLARES THE LORD,”PLANS TO PROSPER YOU AND NOT TO HARM YOU,PLANS TO GIVE YOU HOPE AND A FUTURE.”

With being the single thread I am still usable,I am being woven into the tapestry God desires to create with and in me; the ends of the fabric sewn whereas it will not unravel again.

DO NOT FEAR,I AM WITH YOU;BE NOT DISMAYED,FOR I AM YOUR GOD. I WILL STRENGTHEN YOU;I WILL UP HOLD YOU WITH MY RIGHTEOUS RIGHT HAND.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: